Dear friends,

Let me start by saying I LOVE YOU ALL! Over the last months you all became a very important part of my life … a part I don’t want to miss for anything.
Lately though, my life took a different turn … almost a 180° turn into a direction I had never anticipated, allowing me only one single alternative, the ultimate one – leaving my country. Let me tell you a bit how things developed …

When I returned to Germany some three and a half years ago, after a twenty year absence and a failed marriage, I was absolutely determined to settle in my hometown, to grow roots – to become a part of the society. After all, I was born here, I lived, studied and worked here, know mentality and culture and so I naively thought, it should not be too difficult to re-adjust myself. I was ready and most willing to contribute socially as well as professionally and was convinced that having except the German, another two international diplomas, 36-years of work-experience in the medical field, teaching experience – and speaking foreign languages should definitely ease the task let me find an appropriate place to work. Well – I had NO idea how wrong I was.

The entire German market, wherever you look, is ruled by a so-called “youth-frenzy”! Once you’re over fourty .. sometimes even less – you’re considered old and pushed aside, having to watch how younger people get the job you wished to have … with less experience and knowledge – but that apparently doesn’t matter. They “cost less money” – and that’s what counts. Quality is a luxury which can not taken for granted anymore as to achieve it, requires people with experience who are “more expensive”!
At the Department of Labour I was turned down with the sentence “we’re sorry, you’re overqualified”! Actually I should be even grateful as there was ONE positive aspect in that – I had learned a word which had previously not existed in my vocabulary! Someone explain me the word “OVERqualified” … am I punished for having studied a bit more that others? I can’t grasp that logic but it seems to have penetrated the entire jobmarket …

Having come to this world in 1952 makes me more than forty, fifty-four to be exact … and the fact that I have no idea how I got to this number (it doesn’t match the way I feel AT ALL), of course doesn’t interest anyone as only the number itself counts. In case you’d wonder – my picture on the blog is a bit over one year old.

Well – to tell you in a nutshell what happened recently.
I thought I was, after half a year of pretty intense search, finally lucky having found a job which values experience over age … but was at the end deceived in a very miserable way. That was last week Monday. The moment I had found out, I felt the entire world was caving in on me and someone had pulled the carpet from under my feet … had I been suicidal (which I am THANK GOD NOT AT ALL!) – that would have been the moment of truth. My first thought crossing my mind was … “My God, how will I go on living now” … and my second … “NO CHANCE I will remain here in Germany”. To make a longer and MOST painful story short … it was a time in which REAL friends came forward to help me through these hours and actually first two days .. and some people I had considered as such – stayed quietly and passively in the background, a fact which did hurt and disappoint me a lot! In essence I do thank GOD though for having found out …

I learned how wonderful it is if someone writes, calls, SKYPES and only says “just hang in there – you’ll make it, you’ll pull through!” Those words alone did wonders … that’s all I needed to hear. Very little. During moments one tumbles and is about to fall off the cliff, one grabs every single straw to hold on … and these REAL friends were FAR MORE than that, they reached out, gave me their hands, their advice – and pulled me back to solid ground … they literally saved my life and were there for me in an hour of greatest need. Not only do I thank them again and again from all my heart, I will never forget that and will ALWAYS be there for them once THEY will have a time of need.
In fact though, I’ll be there as well for the others as I forgave them … there won’t be any difference. That’s what my religion has been teaching me.

In the meantime my decision is made … I will leave Munich and Germany toward end of this month – for good. There is no alternative to that. I will go back to where I used to live already for some five years – to Southern California – and start anew. So many wonderful blogger-friends gave me the strength I needed, helped me to psychologically get ready for this quantum-leap … and I will go for it, feel ready for. People with my profession – especially as holder of a California RN-license – are very much needed there and knowledge and experience are valued, at least much more than here, so I am optimistic. Anyone in that area has any particular idea? By ALL means let me hear it!

Toward end of this and beginning of coming month there will be a short break in blogging, I will do my best though to keep you updated and resume my blogging activity as swiftly as possible.

I hope I didn’t bore you too much with this story! God bless you all!


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